How the elves reached houses and the dwarves finished in gardens
by Viara species
Summary: Vive l'évolution! - The Secrets of the Great Past are hidden in the libraries of Hogwarts ...


«Our world has not always been as it is now. In former times, the Earth was covered with fern jungles. Giant dinosaurs were waiting for their victims in the Red Sands while majestic dragons were guarding treasures inside the mountains. Great nations ruled the world. But years have passed and now there are stunted ferns rustling under your feet. Instead of mighty giants there are tiny lizards wandering in dry soil. The last free dragon perished in the depths of the sea. Free nations were… By the way, that is what I will talk about. The beginning of this story starts in those days when our world was called Middle-earth, namely September 29, 3021 of the Third Age. On that day, Keepers of the Great Rings went overseas.

With the departure of the Great Rings, The Men Age began in the Middle-earth. The human race reached unprecedented heights. Other races, on the contrary, went into the shadows. The last elves took shelter in the woods, dwarves less and less exited from their caves in the bowels of the mountains. The basements of the world collapsed. The New World arrived.

As time was going on, the tribe of People was developing. Seas and oceans, tundra zones and droughts, not to mention mountains and forests, had already been mastered by Men. Cornered elves and dwarves had to pass a long way of transformations. Unfortunately, this is a cruel law of the world, The Red Queen Effect: we must run as fast as we can, just to stay in place. The mountains, which had been so great in the past, did not cope with the destructive power of the time. Less and less of them remained in the Middle-earth. The dwarves were hit by famine and poverty. Tribal population dropped sharply. The remains of mighty nation stood at the origins of a new path. The Great Evolution began.

After overcoming the wide Anduin River small handful of dwarves settled near the Shire (modern North-West Europe). There they had been staying for many years. In fact, it was those dwarves, who became the prototype of the characters of the fairy tales about enchanted princesses. It seems that even… But enough about the wonders. Let's go back to the Shire. Even though there was the rocky terrain in this place, it was not adapted for collective work in the mines. However, harsh blacksmiths turned out to be also good plowmen. Their life improved, and, perhaps, they might have been happy, but there was a fly in the ointment. Dwarves lived in a small community, and their houses have intermarried for several thousands of years, but when intra-family marriages happen, descendants suffer from whole burden of disease, and tribe degenerates. The same thing happened with dwarves. They became smaller, their lifespan shortened. A few more centuries passed. Instead of own pride, a small handful of dwarves went to the south-southeast to find a job in human settlements. They settled down as wageworkers in Gondor and Rohan (modern West Europe and Southwest Europe). In this regard, nothing has changed to our days. These dwarves can kill, rob, and fix the water supply. Some of them even deliver the holiday mail. These dwarves were able to keep remnants of the former way of life and even retained typical appearance, but they did not manage to save folk spirit. Much more interesting was the case with those remaining not far from Shire. After some years, they migrated to the nearby foothills. There they teamed up with Harfoots, one of the hobbits' tribe. A new branch has grown at the evolutionary tree. There were less and less dwarves' traits in representatives of a new nation, called Gnome by scientists (according to several doubtful sources, _Gernumbli gardensi_). For example, these creatures were extremely illegible in food; they did not even shun worms. Actually, exactly worms were their favorite treat. You are going to ask, how could descendants of proud dwarves even think of putting an earthworm in their mouths? The answer is quite simple. As stated above, there were less and less mountains in Middle-earth. As a result, metal reserves ran out, there was no materials to make shovels and picks, but old traditions did not get rid of themselves. That's why, because of instinctive craving to dig, descendants of proud dwarves decided to dig ground just with their hands. And you can find even more than earthworm by this way. And old good habit of hobbits had worked there: eat everything that seems edible. So the worms took their place of honor on the menu. What's about appearance of Gnome… If you asked somebody about that, you would hear only one word: «potato». Gnome had thick fur on their legs while their heads were bald. In former times, it would be considered as great shame. And, in my opinion, when the last bearded dwarf died, the centuries-old honor of the glorious nation was finally and irrevocably lost.

At the same time, very different story was happening in green forests.

People burnt and cut down trees, made paper and fuel. Elves took a risky step and accepted the rules of someone else's game. The great ones left the evergreen lands. Elves' Evolution countdown got started.

Throughout the existence of the Earth, there was no stronger enmity than it was between elves and dwarves. There were no other cultures, which were so different. However paradoxical it may be, equally sad fate was destined for them. Elves also were going to lose their nature, and there was the same reason - incestuous marriages. Indeed, very few elves had remained in Middle-earth since the Third Age's ending, and there was no other way to save the population. As a result, the Elder Children of Ilúvatar became one of the most miserable creatures in the world. Mighty knights turned into short shriveled weak creatures. Pointy ears greatly increased in size because of deformation. Loss of immortality seemed to be one of the least problems. Are you going to say, that elves managed at least to save their national proud, unlike the scampish dwarves? Actually, they didn't. Long hair, the main value of any elf, didn't fit for survival in the New World: mud, diseases, lice… In one word, Nature decided to get rid of it. It was the last step of the Great Evolution because, however strange it may be, this form of elfish existence was the most suitable for environmental conditions of that period. You know, probably, light translucent creatures with wings, who lived in flower buds and ate nectar, these strange children of human imagination, that were called «elves» by mistake, are more merciful to hapless nation than nature itself… But we won't leave the topic. Unfortunately, our story isn't finished on this sad note - the world is so arranged that the weak should obey the strong. That's why elves became hereditary slaves of people, remnants of real dwarves had to work on human race to get a livelihood and Gnome started to lead a wrecking lifestyle. Fate closed the circle; the ancient rule of life got confirmed: the strong gave way to the weak, taking their place themselves. The world turned upside down, becoming the way we see it now…»

Hermione put the book aside. Dead silence reigned in the living room of Gryffindor. Ron was the first to find his voice.

\- What was it now? Was it necessary to write such nonsense?!

\- Well, why is it immediately nonsense? It sounds quiet logical. You know, I have so many new ideas! We can also create GNOME society (Genetics of Nations of Middle-earth)…

\- No, Hermione, only over my dead body! SPEW (Society for Promotion of Elfish Welfare) was quiet enough for me! And where was your logics, when you decided to search for dangerous potion recipe there?! Oh, women…

\- Hey, men…

Hermione and Ron were yelling at each other while Harry was laughing his head off. He imagined a pick instead of a harp in the hands of a gloomy bearded dwarf singing a song nasally:

«His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,

His hair is as dark as a blackboard.

I wish he was mine, he's really divine,

The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.»

There was «Evolution of magical industrial society in a free statement of Dwarf, son of Dwarf, son of Dwarf, the reliability of which information can be doubted» on the table. In the lower right corner of the cover there was an inscription written in the slim handwriting of Irma Pince: «Restricted Section. You can take this book only if you have teacher's permission».


End file.
